Dream job to benefit or cost kids?
May 1st, 2009
JAllen asked:
I have been offered a dream job in the foreign service that will allow me to work overseas, in a new country every three years or so. I am excited and terribly stressed at the same time. I am a remarried father of two children, ages 6 and 13. They live with their mother with whom I share custody 40/60. I will end up seeing them less, not every other weekend or during the week once in a while like I do now if I take the job. But, I want this job terribly and want them to see the world, to live amongst other cultures and see amazing new things. Their mom, unfortunately, is a homebody that never strays more than 200 miles from home. But I’m afraid the kids will think I’ve abandoned them or something, even though they tell me it would be so fun to come visit different countries. Would it be wrong to not take this job, and resent it years later when they’re older and out of the house? Or is it more wrong to put my dreams before their need for a dad?
Emily
I have been offered a dream job in the foreign service that will allow me to work overseas, in a new country every three years or so. I am excited and terribly stressed at the same time. I am a remarried father of two children, ages 6 and 13. They live with their mother with whom I share custody 40/60. I will end up seeing them less, not every other weekend or during the week once in a while like I do now if I take the job. But, I want this job terribly and want them to see the world, to live amongst other cultures and see amazing new things. Their mom, unfortunately, is a homebody that never strays more than 200 miles from home. But I’m afraid the kids will think I’ve abandoned them or something, even though they tell me it would be so fun to come visit different countries. Would it be wrong to not take this job, and resent it years later when they’re older and out of the house? Or is it more wrong to put my dreams before their need for a dad?
Emily
Never, ever, ever put a job before your kids……
However, if your kids can gain benefits from your position and moving around, that might not be bad. But - they do need a stable “home base”. Work on their needs while introducing them to new experiences….
For me because im going through something very similar its little different ive pretty much decided that if taking this job well while spending enough time with my dreams than mine so its tearing me bad parent dont want it if cant come.
My baby good luck to you.
For me up with my son we are better off id rather give up inside your kids are older than mine so its little.
For me because im going through something very similar its little different ive pretty much decided that if taking this job makes me up my job well while spending enough time with someway to do my baby good luck to you.